Moonsong

Our modern culture has forgotten to honour the Rites of Passage in a Woman's life. In not doing this we miss the opportunity they provide of celebrating and welcoming the huge transformations that we go through at our menarche, childbirth and menopause.

Honouring rites of passage is an ancient tradition seen in all cultures across the planet. Our rites of passage happen whether we bring consciousness to them or not. And the experience we have at each of these times of transformation in our life is what teaches us about what our culture expects of us in our new role and how that role is valued, whether we realise it or not.

At her menarche, the experience a girl has, how she is treated, the messages she gets, both subliminal and specific, inform her of her culture's value of woman and how she is expected to behave.

In many traditional cultures, the rites of passage around a woman's fertility were enacted with the seriousness and reverence they deserve. The cultures that honoured the feminine rites of passage of the menarche, childbirth and menopause were those that honoured the feminine in all respects. They were more likely peaceful cultures where woman and men were equally valued, living their lives in harmony with the Earth and the cycles.

The Apache Native Americans held ceremonies for days, with the whole tribe present, to celebrate girls entering their Womanhood.
The Nootka tribe, had a party to honour a girl's menarche, and then she was taken far out to sea and left to swim back to the land. ⁽ⁱ⁾
Once she had done this she was recognised by her community as a woman, strong and brave and ready for the responsibilities of womanhood - marriage and rearing children.

In modern times, some families acknowledge the menarche with a gift for the young woman, a celebratory dinner, even a party.
Sometimes this happens within a circle of women who welcome the newly fertile woman, the initiate, to their sisterhood. They share stories of their own experiences of menstruation and make wishes and blessings for the new woman's future life.

And for others the menarche is not acknowledged.

The way the menarche and menstruation, a physical expression of the feminine, are dealt with in our culture, our families and our communities, influences how a young woman understands what it "means" to be a Woman, a cyclical sexual fertile female human being. It also influences how our culture feels about and treats the Earth and her resources. Understanding and respecting a woman's cyclical nature, starting with the Menarche of our daughters, has a healing effect on our Earth. In valuing our blood, our cyclical nature, feminine magic and teaching our daughters to do the same we participate in the healing our ravaged Earth needs.

Everything about a woman's life is cyclical, there is a never ending spiral of growth and decay, building up and letting go, energy out and energy in. It happens every month with the menstrual cycle and every 29.5 days with the lunation cycle, every three months with a change of season and every 25 or so years of one's life.
Same cycle, different speeds.
And if you're lucky or more correctly in tune, then your monthly cycle and the moon's, will be synchronised, just as nature intended.

Menstruation gives us our cycle, a monthly clock to live our life around, it gives us times of energy out and times of energy in, just like the moon waxes and wanes each month our energy, creativity and libido waxes and wanes, yet how many women live according to their cycle? Mostly we ignore, or at least try to ignore that we don't feel able or up to the various tasks we set our selves when our energy is waning in the second half of our cycle. To say "I am premenstrual" is seen by many as some sort of lame excuse for inadequacy. Our culture is not geared around the natural waxing and waning of women. We could be lead to believe that we need to be like the women in the tampon ads, plug ourselves up, wear tight white clothes and carry on regardless of the fact that we are bleeding. We are encouraged to ignore the messages from our body, take pain killers and pretend its business as usual.
If you think this works, just ask the men folk around you.

Few of us were treated with celebration and honouring to welcome us to our next phase - Woman. So few of us know what to do with our daughters.

We need to welcome our daughters to womanhood and teach them that they are special and valued. We need to tell them it's important that they honour their cycles - to 'go with the flow'. However first we must do that ourselves, and heal from any wounds from our own menarche rite of passage. ⁽ⁱⁱ⁾

In our community we welcome the girls to womanhood with a beautiful ceremony to honour them. We sit in a circle and the maiden sits in the centre.
We all wear red and she wears a circlet of flowers on her head.
Her Mother is there.
Each woman around the circle shares with the maiden "What I wish I had been told at the onset of my fertility cycle, or what I was told that really helped me." "What I have learned through and from my cycles over the years." And a special specific wish for the maiden from them. We give her gifts and have a tea party.

The girls feel like they have been initiated into a special club,
They have - Womanhood.
I love some of the young women's comments after their Menarche ceremony:
Charissa: tears in her eyes - thank you
Chelsea: I didn't want to do this you know, but it was cool, the best day of my life!
Katelyn: I feel special, like I've won something, you're all being so nice to me!
And Tess and Millie, 10 and 9 year olds who where at the ceremony with their mothers, said they were going to watch the moon together, so their blood would come at the same time and they could have their ceremony together.

We have a circle once a month, with these girls and others who have started menstruating, who have also had menarche ceremonies.
It's a beautiful thing, we each talk about where we are in our cycle and how we are experiencing it. We talk about the opportunities that our cycle gives each week, very like the seasons of the Earth.

They certainly feel a connection with each other and with the cycles of the Earth and moon. How will this effect them as women?
My guess would be that it will build on where they are at now, feeling aware, conscious and in tune with their cycles, comfortable talking about it all and understanding why the feel the way they do on certain days.
They say they feel very glad that we gather and do talk about this kind of stuff, they say most of the other girls at school don't and to them that seems immature.

Why wouldn't we do everything we can to help our girls as they embark on their journey into womanhood, we may even heal ourselves, the wounded feminine and the Earth in the process.

Following is a suggested ceremony to honour the menarche. Moonsong creates for sale beautiful 'Rites of Passage in a Box' for the menarche, pregnancy and menopause available at www.moonsong.com.au. Also available at Moonsong is a 'how to chart your cycle' handbook and journal called "Thirteen Moons" and "Spinning Wheels" an informative tool to use to understand the influence of the cycles of the Earth seasons, life seasons, lunar phases and menstrual cycle on any given day.

This ceremony would usually be a women only event. If fathers, brothers or other significant (to the young woman) males are to be involved have them be the welcoming (back) party after the ceremony.
You may choose to do this ceremony with a small group of young women who have all reached their menarche around the same time.
You can choose to keep the details of the ceremony a secret from the Maiden or involve her in the preparation.

Read through the ceremony before you do it. Decide who will read out the words (it doesn't have to be the Mother) and add whatever you want to the parts you will speak. You may for example wish to invoke your female ancestors or invited women who weren't able to attend, various angels or particular Goddesses. Several Goddesses have been included in the written ceremony, however you may have other relevant Ones you wish to include. Read through the list in the ceremony and choose which Goddesses you want to invoke, you can of course invoke all of them. Don't worry about making mistakes, if your aim is true and your intention is loving, your 'mistakes' will be an essential part of the ceremony.

Ahead of time: INVITING SPECIAL GUESTS
You may decide to invite other women to be present for the ceremony. Perhaps Godmothers, Aunts, Grandmothers, special friends, the young woman's friends - be sure they have themselves commenced menstruation.
Send them invitations.
Tell them they are invited to join you for a ceremony to honour (name)'s rite of passage into Womanhood, to welcome her/them into this new phase of her life, explain the ceremony's purpose, and ask them to prepare to speak or read aloud their written words in answer to:

What I wish I had been told at the onset of my fertility cycle, or what I was told that really helped me.
What I have learned through and from my cycles over the years.
A special specific wish for the maiden from them.

Ask the guests, if necessary, to focus on the positive aspects as their words will be their teaching to the maiden.
Ask your guests to bring a little meaningful gift for the maiden, such as an appropriate crystal, a journal, a bracelet to wear when bleeding etc. This gift can be something for the maiden's altar that she will perhaps maintain following this ceremony. The cycle charting handbook Thirteen Moons and Spinning Wheels pack is an ideal gift. This is available through MoonSong (www.moonsong.com.au).
Invite your guests to wear red and bring red foods to share for a morning or afternoon tea or supper to follow your ceremony.
This is also about having fun, celebrating and enjoying yourselves. Remember what happens around a rite of passage is what informs the initiate about their value in their new role.

Matches or a lighter
Sage for smudging
Appropriate Incense (stick) and holder
A heat proof dish
A special candle
An altar cloth (as special as you like)
A special cushion to be placed beside the altar for the maiden to be seated on during the ceremony
Other cushions to make the circle

Keep in mind as you gather these things that you could make a gift of them to the Maiden so she could create a permanent altar for her ongoing menstrual rituals.

Modify any of the wording for the ceremony to better suit your daughter, guests or situation.
If you are doing this ceremony for more than one maiden, simply speak all their names when called for and conduct the individual part for each maiden, one after the other.
There is a speaking role required for the ceremony - lighting the candle and incense, speaking the invocations, opening and closing the ceremony- this could be the Maiden's mother or another woman or you could share the role between several women. If you share the speaking role, perhaps write out the words for each woman to read.
Make sure you've read the instructions and have everything from the 'Things to Gather' list.

Find a quiet place for your ceremony, inside or outside, where you will not be disturbed for 30 minutes or more depending on how many women are attending the ceremony.
Perhaps you want to nominate a photographer for the ceremony, have this and her gear all sorted out before you start.

You can do this just before your guests arrive or with them when they do.
Lay out the cloth to create your altar.
Arrange the things on your altar.
Place the special cushion beside the altar.
The women will be sitting in a circle around this.

You can either do this ahead of time or with your guests.
Do it in focussed silence, the ceremony begins with this process.
Burn the sage leaves in the heat proof dish or use a smudge stick to cleanse and purify the space.
Don't do this where there is a smoke alarm as it will certainly trigger it. If you'd rather not burn sage then you will need to cleanse the space of any energy accumulated in the area from previous activity by another means. You could spray the air with atomised water mixed with eucalyptus oil, or just flick water mixed with eucalyptus oil around the space. It's your intention that matters.
As the sage burns or as you spray/flick the water and oil speak your intention: "I cleanse this space".
When the sage has burned away or enough has, empty the dish of the ash - be sure no part is still burning (put it on the soil around a plant) place the candle in the dish and put it in the centre of your altar.

(Turn off your mobile phones)
Seat the women in a circle around the central altar.
Ask everyone to be silent.
If you are cleansing the space with your guests present and seated, do it now.
Light the candle and say:
"We call the Divine Feminine to be present and give thanks for our connection to the Earth, our Mother. We call Archangel Haniel - and give thanks for connection with the energy of the moon.
We call the ancient Goddesses that our foremothers called upon:
Artemis - Greek Goddess of Maidens, we give thanks for your protection of this/these maiden/s.
Freyja - Nordic Goddess of fertility, celebration and passion, we give thanks for your blessings today and always.
Ostara -Northern European Goddess of fertility and springtime, bless us with your beauty.
Kuan Yin - the Goddess of compassion and protector of women and children, be with us.
Maeve - Celtic Goddess of cycles and rhythm, bless us with your wisdom.
Y emaya - African Goddess of women's blood.
and Hathor - Egyptian Goddess of women's moontime/bleeding time.
(add female ancestors if desired, eg "we call Grandmother….).
We give thanks for guidance, nurturance, protection and support as we conduct this ceremony to welcome (name/s) to womanhood."
Light the incense stick and say:
"May (name/s) feel the beauty, the honour and the privilege of being a woman."
Main speaker:
"Everybody hold hands, close your eyes, and breathe deeply together - in… out…. in… out…. in… out….
PAUSE
Take your awareness to the Earth beneath you.
Feel the Earth beneath you.
PAUSE
Feel the air all around you.
PAUSE
Feel the warmth inside you.
PAUSE
Feel the water nearby in the river, ocean, lake etc/in the sky above (whatever is appropriate to your situation)
PAUSE
Gently squeeze the hands you are holding and feel the circle we are creating here.
Open your eyes and look around at who is here.
Make eye contact with each woman.
Let go of your hands and sit comfortably.
Go around the circle everyone speaking their name.

"We are gathered here today/night to honour (name/s) and welcome her to womanhood.
Being a woman is a privilege and a responsibility.
One of the privileges is the deep connection we can experience with each other and with nature.
And one of the responsibilities is to live our lives with that knowing.
A woman's life is divided into seasons just like the earth's seasons - spring, summer, autumn and winter.
The time of the first blood, the menarche, is a time of transition and transformation, a rite of passage into womanhood.
It is as if the mid spring, the spring equinox of our lives.
In nature we see the buds bursting forth as blossoms on the trees, the rose bud beginning to open, new growth everywhere.
And this we see reflected in (name/s).
This is the time when a woman begins the journey of her fertility. A precious time to both honour and understand.
This is the place where (name/s) is/are now.
You are a woman now!
Welcome to womanhood."

If you are conducting this ceremony for one maiden, bring her to the centre of the circle now and seat her on the special cushion, perhaps her mother could do this.
Go around the circle and have each woman answer the two questions and then go around the circle again with each woman giving her wish and gift to the maiden.
If you are doing more than one maiden, first go around the circle with each woman answering the two questions whilst everyone remains in the circle, then bring each maiden to the centre of the circle separately to be individually honoured with the wish and gift giving.

"We want to share with you today, some women's secrets, some of the women's mysteries.
Being a woman carries responsibilities - that's why you are capable and strong.
Being a woman is a joy - that's why your heart is big and your smile is sweet.
Being a woman is very special - and that's probably why you chose to be one!
Let's go around the circle now with each woman sharing with (name/s):
*What you would have liked to have known or be told at the onset of your fertility cycle, or what you were told that really helped you, and
*What you have learned through and from your cycles over the years."
Stay focussed on the ceremony, resisting any unrelated conversation. If you are conducting this ceremony for more than one maiden, bring the first to the centre of the circle now and go around the circle again with each woman giving the maiden her wish and special gift.
Bring the maiden back into the circle, perhaps her Aunt or Godmother, someone other than her Mother if she took her to the centre of the circle, could do this.
If you are doing a group ceremony, once you have honoured each individual maiden and all have returned to the circle....
Join hands.
Allow for spontaneity here and perhaps ask if there is anything more anyone wants to say.
The Maiden/s could speak at this time if she/they wish.
At this point, to complete the ceremony, you could sing an appropriate song together.
To Close:
With hands held
"We give thanks for a wonderful ceremony, welcoming (name/s) to Womanhood.
We give thanks for the divine guidance, nurturance, protection and support.
We give thanks for our connection with each other and the Earth and for our knowing of the wisdom of the cycles and the blessings of being a woman.
Blessed Be and Blessed Do"

Snuff the candle out, don't blow it.

Enjoy your red feast.

Plan to gather again.

^{( i)}"Her Blood Is Gold" by Lara Owen
⁽ⁱⁱ⁾"Temple of the Blood" a CD by Katherine Cunningham has a wonderful guided meditation for women to use for healing around their menarche and menstrual cycles.
Contact Living Gently PO Box 717 Lakes Entrance Victoria 3909 Australia